DISCLAIMER: I don’t care what you wear.
For the past several months I’ve gained weight. I’m not proud of this. I’ve been, sort of, working out when I feel like it and watching what I eat. It’s been weighing heavy on my thighs (wakka! wakka!) and I don’t care for it. The worst part about gaining weight is that I don’t fit into any of my pants. My “fat pants” got a hole in the crotch, so I can’t wear those anymore. The only thing that fits me are my black leggings and yoga pants.
I didn’t think much about this before, but will wearing leggings and yoga pants cause men to look at me? I asked my boyfriend, who loves, honors, and respects me, about this he said something like, “Yeah, probably.” and gave me a high five. Sure, a man may want to look, and is going to look, and at the same time, I’m going to be comfortable. I’m not going to feel bad about squeezing my lower parts into pants that currently don’t fit me to meet the standards of other people.
So in that moment, I made a personal vow to myself to not give a crap about what other people think of me. I will wear what I want to wear if it makes me feel good about myself and gives me a confidence boost. I may not be able to fit into the clothes I want right now, but I can wear other clothes that still make me feel good about who I am. I’ll eventually lose this weight, or maybe I won’t. Perhaps, someday I’ll buy jeans that currently fit this body shape. Maybe I’ll lose weight and become Hollywood anorexic but continue to wear tight leggings and yoga pants. Who knows. Right now I’m into my leggings and yoga pants and if you want to stare, that is fine. I do not care.
I have been following the vow I made to myself to believe in who I am, no matter what shape or size I may be. I have had no difficultly finding an outfit that works and I feel I am honoring myself and the way I dress, whether it’s me wearing a button down and leggings or if it’s just pasties and a thong (’cause I do burlesque sometimes).